Rude Removal/Script

General	Script	Gallery

WARNING: The following transcript contains profanity. Viewer discretion is advised.

• (Dexter is in his lab using a welder to finish his invention)
• Dexter: Ahh, my latest, greatest work is just about completed! Hm, one more adjustment to the flux motivator.
• (He goes back to welding; Dee Dee peeks inside the lab and merrily skips inside)
• Dee Dee: Ooooh. Dexter's got gas!
• (She flips over the canisters and lands on the hose with her heel as she slides over to Dexter; Dee Dee grabs the hose and the welder stops working; Dexter lifts his mask and looks at the hose; Dee Dee lets the hose go and the nozzle blasts Dexter's face, leaving him with dark hair)
• Dee Dee: Whatcha doin'? Are you makin' a shrink ray? Hm? Or a remote controller that can turn you into animals? Hm? Hm? Or is it just another dumb robot? Hm? What is it? Huh? Huh?
• Dexter: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! So you want to know what my ingenious invention is, do you?
• Dee Dee: You know it, bro.
• Dexter: *Dramatically* It is great, that's what it is! *Normal tone* This machine has the ability to remove and contain the most annoying personality trait known to man: Rudeness. Behold: The Rude Removal System!
• (The camera pulls out to reveal the Rude Removal System; it then cuts to Dexter standing in front of a chart)
• Dexter: Okay, listen. To simplify this, Dee Dee minus rude equals happy Dexter.
• (As he explains, the camera pans over the entire chart with Dexter standing at the other side smiling)
• Dee Dee: Oh yeah?! *she pokes Dexter's eye* You're the rude one, brother!
• Dexter: It is you that is rude!
• Dee Dee: No, you!
• Dexter: No, you!
• Dee Dee: You!
• Dexter: YOU!
• Dee Dee: YOU!
• Dee Dee: *sarcastically* You're right, Dexter. I am the rude one. *she purposefully kicks Dexter* See?
• (Dexter flies over to the Rude Removal System and slams on the red button)
• Computer: Rude Removal System activated.
• (Dexter clenches his fists and runs toward Dee Dee with a battle cry; they both fight as a cloud appears over both of them; Dee Dee kicks Dexter into the Rude Removal System and she jumps after him; their fight resumes)
• Computer: Rude Removal procedure beginning now.
• (A pink cloud fills up the A tube; Dexter bangs on the glass; the cloud goes over to the B tube; Dexter and Dee Dee look at it)
• Computer: Rude Removal procedure completed.
• Dee Dee: *English accent* Bravo, Dexter, your Rude Removal System is a smashing success!
• Dexter: *English accent* Quite. Like I said before, it takes the rudeness of a person, removes it, and then contains it.
• (The cloud in the B tube fades away; two kids who look very similar to Dee Dee and Dexter come out)
• Rude Dexter: *New York accent* Where the f*** are we?
• Rude Dee Dee: *New York accent* Beats the crap outta me!
• Dexter: Why, you're in Dexter's laboratory, silly! I'm Dexter. And this golden-haired angel behind me is my charming sister, Dee Dee.
• (Dee Dee curtsies)
• Dee Dee: Charmed!
• Rude Dexter: Ah, f*** off!
• Dee Dee and Dexter: *gasp* Oh dear.
• Dexter: Ahem. Excuse me sir, but we think that was very rude, and we are in want of an apology.
• Rude Dexter: Yeah, here's your f***ing apology!
• Mom: *offscreen* Kids! Lunchtime!
• Rude Dexter: Lunchtime! I'm f***ing starving!
• (He drops Dexter to the ground and forges to the kitchen with Rude Dee Dee beside him)
• Dee Dee: Dexter? I'm sorry those meanies broke your machine and made you look like a wimp.
• Dexter: Why, it's okay, Dee Dee. Maybe they'll be in better spirits after eating some of Mom's delicious cooking.
• (They smile and lick their lips)
• Dee Dee and Dexter: Mmm!
• (Cut to the kitchen; Mom is seen mixing batter; Rude Dee Dee kicks the door open)
• Mom: Kids, have a seat. I'll be right with you.
• (The rude kids fight over a seat; Rude Dee Dee pushes Rude Dexter out of the way using her hip; As Mom walks over to the table, Rude Dexter lands in front of her and Mom trips over him)
• Mom: I hope you're hungry because I've made a very- *grunts* speciallunchthatIgotfromarecipethatIfoundinaspecialBetsyCrockermagazine! *huffing* I hope you like it.
• (She gets up from the floor with green stars and dots circling her head; Rude Dexter chews the food)
• Mom: Well, what do you think, Dexter?
• Rude Dexter: *with a full mouth* I think it tastes like s***!
• (He spits the food at a shocked Mom; Mom falls to the floor)
• Mom: Oh!
• (Rude Dee Dee takes the bowl, sticks her entire face in it, and gobbles away)
• Rude Dexter: I gots to find some f***ing food!
• (He walks over to the fridge and starts throwing out food)
• Rude Dexter: No! No! Uh-uh! Nada! No way! Ah! *he pulls out a pie* Oh baby, come to Papa.
• (Mom gets up)
• Mom: Ugh...ah? Dexter! No! Absolutely not! You cannot have any dessert.
• Rude Dexter: Why? You want it all to yourself?
• (Mom gasps, grows wrinkles, and falls to the floor again; Rude Dee Dee is at a cabinet throwing out canned food and cooking ingredients)
• Rude Dee Dee: Hey, where's the f***ing candy?
• (Rude Dexter is eating the pie; a can bounces off his head)
• Rude Dexter: Hey, watch where you're throwing that, skull f***ing douchebag!
• Rude Dee Dee: Okay, I will!
• (She picks up a jar of peanut butter and purposefully throws it at Rude Dexter's head)
• Rude Dexter: Hey! FOOD FIGHT!
• ('He throws the pie at Rude Dee Dee's head; she screams; Rude Dexter laughs and points at her; she then throws a watermelon at Rude Dexter, then laughs and points at him; the food fight resumes; Mom gets up and witnesses the chaos; she becomes exceptionally irate as the background turns bright red as Mom angrily closes her eyes)
• Mom: STOP THIS THIS INSTANT! I've had just about enough of you two! Now clean up this mess, and go to your rooms FOREVER!
• Rude Dexter: Look lady, that's cute and all, but let me tell you somethin'. I make my own f***ing rules. So why don't you do what all good mothers are supposed to do and clean it up yaself? So long, toots.
• (He and Rude Dee Dee leave the kitchen while Mom fumes)
• Rude Dexter: Hey look, it's Dorkster and Dumb Dumb. Say, nancy pants, your mom wants ya.
• (Dexter and Dee Dee walk to the kitchen holding hands)
• Dexter: Oh my. Mother. We best see what she wants. So you're off, then?
• Rude Dexter: Yeah, we're gonna go f*** up your lab!
• (He and Rude Dee Dee run off to the lab)
• Dexter: Well, they're nice enough fellows once you get to know them. A little rough around the edges, but- oh, hello Mother. Are you in need of us?
• (Dexter and Dee Dee enter the messy kitchen as ordered by Mom as she stands next to the door)
• Mom: Now I'm gonna get a bar of soap to wash out your filthy little mouths, and when I get back, I wanna see this place spotless!
• (She slams the door shut; Dexter and Dee Dee look at the mess their rude counterparts left behind)
• Dexter and Dee Dee: Oh my!
• Dexter: Well Dee Dee, we must get to work!
• (A sound comes from Dexter's laboratory)
• Dexter: It appears our counterparts are involved in some sort of mischief upstairs, we should come to their aid, wouldn't you say?
• Dee Dee: Why, yes! But what with the cleaning, dear brother?
• (Dexter thinks)
• Dexter: I got it! And it's a pip of an idea too! We'll leave a note!
• (Dexter posts a note on the fridge)
• Dexter: Oh, yes. Come, dear sister.
• (In the laboratory, Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee are causing chaos while they laugh maniacally)
• Dexter: Excuse me, sir and madam, but you must stop this senseless destruction now!
• (Dee Dee wags her finger)
• Dexter: Please.
• (Rude Dexter fires a laser at them)
• Dexter and Dee Dee: Woah!
• (They both run away and hide behind a wall; Rude Dee Dee reaches for the laser gun while Rude Dexter pushes her away)
• Rude Dee Dee: Let me play with that!
• Rude Dexter: You're too stupid to use it you moron!
• (He whacks Rude Dee Dee with the gun)
• Dexter: Gosh Dee Dee! I have an idea but, it's a little bit blue!
• Dee Dee: Oh! Well, let's hear it anyway!
• (Dexter whispers to her)
• Dee Dee: Oh my Dexter! That is deceptive!
• (They run to the Rude Removal System; Dee Dee gives Dexter the signal)
• Dexter: Out loud Oh, I hope nobody goes into the Rude Remove System! Where they could duplicate themselves even more and then there could possibly be millions of rude fellows running around!
• Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee: Yeah!
• (They run to the Rude Removal System and jump inside; Dee Dee closes the B tube and Dexter starts the reversal procedure)
• Computer: Rude Removal Reversal System activated.
• (Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee disappear)
• Computer: Sequence complete.
• (Dexter and Dee Dee step out of the A tube)
• Dexter: Phew! Glad that's over, no thanks to you!
• Dee Dee: Me? I'm not the one who built that stupid thing!
• Dexter: But I built it to remove your rudeness.
• Dee Dee: I'm not rude, you are!
• Dexter: No, you!
• (Dexter and Dee Dee enter a bedroom)
• Dexter: For the last time, it is you that is rude, you big-ga!-
• (Mom stands in the doorway with a bar of soap in her hands)
• Mom: Now to clean those filthy mouths.
• Dexter: Oooooh, s***.