WARNING: The following transcript contains profanity. Viewer discretion is advised.
(Dexter is in his lab using a welder to finish his invention)
Dexter: Ahh, my latest, greatest work is just about completed! Hm, one more adjustment to the flux motivator.
(He goes back to welding; Dee Dee peeks inside the lab and merrily skips inside)
Dee Dee: Ooooh. Dexter's got gas!
(She flips over the canisters and lands on the hose with her heel as she slides over to Dexter; Dee Dee grabs the hose and the welder stops working; Dexter lifts his mask and looks at the hose; Dee Dee lets the hose go and the nozzle blasts Dexter's face, leaving him with dark hair)
Dee Dee: Whatcha doin'? Are you makin' a shrink ray? Hm? Or a remote controller that can turn you into animals? Hm? Hm? Or is it just another dumb robot? Hm? What is it? Huh? Huh?
Dexter: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! So you want to know what my ingenious invention is, do you?
Dee Dee: You know it, bro.
Dexter: *Dramatically* It is great, that's what it is! *Normal tone* This machine has the ability to remove and contain the most annoying personality trait known to man: Rudeness. Behold: The Rude Removal System!
(The camera pulls out to reveal the Rude Removal System; it then cuts to Dexter standing in front of a chart)
Dexter: Okay, listen. To simplify this, Dee Dee minus rude equals happy Dexter.
(As he explains, the camera pans over the entire chart with Dexter standing at the other side smiling)
Dee Dee: Oh yeah?! *she pokes Dexter's eye* You're the rude one, brother!
Dexter: It is you that is rude!
Dee Dee: No, you!
Dexter: No, you!
Dee Dee: You!
Dexter: YOU!
Dee Dee: YOU!
Dee Dee: *sarcastically* You're right, Dexter. I am the rude one. *she purposefully kicks Dexter* See?
(Dexter flies over to the Rude Removal System and slams on the red button)
Computer: Rude Removal System activated.
(Dexter clenches his fists and runs toward Dee Dee with a battle cry; they both fight as a cloud appears over both of them; Dee Dee kicks Dexter into the Rude Removal System and she jumps after him; their fight resumes)
Computer: Rude Removal procedure beginning now.
(A pink cloud fills up the A tube; Dexter bangs on the glass; the cloud goes over to the B tube; Dexter and Dee Dee look at it)
Computer: Rude Removal procedure completed.
Dee Dee: *English accent* Bravo, Dexter, your Rude Removal System is a smashing success!
Dexter: *English accent* Quite. Like I said before, it takes the rudeness of a person, removes it, and then contains it.
(The cloud in the B tube fades away; two kids who look very similar to Dee Dee and Dexter come out)
Rude Dexter: *New York accent* Where the f*** are we?
Rude Dee Dee: *New York accent* Beats the crap outta me!
Dexter: Why, you're in Dexter's laboratory, silly! I'm Dexter. And this golden-haired angel behind me is my charming sister, Dee Dee.
(Dee Dee curtsies)
Dee Dee: Charmed!
Rude Dexter: Ah, f*** off!
Dee Dee and Dexter: *gasp* Oh dear.
Dexter: Ahem. Excuse me sir, but we think that was very rude, and we are in want of an apology.
Rude Dexter: Yeah, here's your f***ing apology!
Mom: *offscreen* Kids! Lunchtime!
Rude Dexter: Lunchtime! I'm f***ing starving!
(He drops Dexter to the ground and forges to the kitchen with Rude Dee Dee beside him)
Dee Dee: Dexter? I'm sorry those meanies broke your machine and made you look like a wimp.
Dexter: Why, it's okay, Dee Dee. Maybe they'll be in better spirits after eating some of Mom's delicious cooking.
(They smile and lick their lips)
Dee Dee and Dexter: Mmm!
(Cut to the kitchen; Mom is seen mixing batter; Rude Dee Dee kicks the door open)
Mom: Kids, have a seat. I'll be right with you.
(The rude kids fight over a seat; Rude Dee Dee pushes Rude Dexter out of the way using her hip; As Mom walks over to the table, Rude Dexter lands in front of her and Mom trips over him)
Mom: I hope you're hungry because I've made a very- *grunts* speciallunchthatIgotfromarecipethatIfoundinaspecialBetsyCrockermagazine! *huffing* I hope you like it.
(She gets up from the floor with green stars and dots circling her head; Rude Dexter chews the food)
Mom: Well, what do you think, Dexter?
Rude Dexter: *with a full mouth* I think it tastes like s***!
(He spits the food at a shocked Mom; Mom falls to the floor)
Mom: Oh!
(Rude Dee Dee takes the bowl, sticks her entire face in it, and gobbles away)
Rude Dexter: I gots to find some f***ing food!
(He walks over to the fridge and starts throwing out food)
Rude Dexter: No! No! Uh-uh! Nada! No way! Ah! *he pulls out a pie* Oh baby, come to Papa.
(Mom gets up)
Mom: Ugh...ah? Dexter! No! Absolutely not! You cannot have any dessert.
Rude Dexter: Why? You want it all to yourself?
(Mom gasps, grows wrinkles, and falls to the floor again; Rude Dee Dee is at a cabinet throwing out canned food and cooking ingredients)
Rude Dee Dee: Hey, where's the f***ing candy?
(Rude Dexter is eating the pie; a can bounces off his head)
(She picks up a jar of peanut butter and purposefully throws it at Rude Dexter's head)
Rude Dexter: Hey! FOOD FIGHT!
('He throws the pie at Rude Dee Dee's head; she screams; Rude Dexter laughs and points at her; she then throws a watermelon at Rude Dexter, then laughs and points at him; the food fight resumes; Mom gets up and witnesses the chaos; she becomes exceptionally irate as the background turns bright red as Mom angrily closes her eyes)
Mom: STOP THIS THIS INSTANT! I've had just about enough of you two! Now clean up this mess, and go to your rooms FOREVER!
Rude Dexter: Look lady, that's cute and all, but let me tell you somethin'. I make my own f***ing rules. So why don't you do what all good mothers are supposed to do and clean it up yaself? So long, toots.
(He and Rude Dee Dee leave the kitchen while Mom fumes)
Rude Dexter: Hey look, it's Dorkster and Dumb Dumb. Say, nancy pants, your mom wants ya.
(Dexter and Dee Dee walk to the kitchen holding hands)
Dexter: Oh my. Mother. We best see what she wants. So you're off, then?
Rude Dexter: Yeah, we're gonna go f*** up your lab!
(He and Rude Dee Dee run off to the lab)
Dexter: Well, they're nice enough fellows once you get to know them. A little rough around the edges, but- oh, hello Mother. Are you in need of us?
(Dexter and Dee Dee enter the messy kitchen as ordered by Mom as she stands next to the door)
Mom: Now I'm gonna get a bar of soap to wash out your filthy little mouths, and when I get back, I wanna see this place spotless!
(She slams the door shut; Dexter and Dee Dee look at the mess their rude counterparts left behind)
Dexter and Dee Dee: Oh my!
Dexter: Well Dee Dee, we must get to work!
(A sound comes from Dexter's laboratory)
Dexter: It appears our counterparts are involved in some sort of mischief upstairs, we should come to their aid, wouldn't you say?
Dee Dee: Why, yes! But what with the cleaning, dear brother?
(Dexter thinks)
Dexter: I got it! And it's a pip of an idea too! We'll leave a note!
(Dexter posts a note on the fridge)
Dexter: Oh, yes. Come, dear sister.
(In the laboratory, Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee are causing chaos while they laugh maniacally)
Dexter: Excuse me, sir and madam, but you must stop this senseless destruction now!
(Dee Dee wags her finger)
Dexter: Please.
(Rude Dexter fires a laser at them)
Dexter and Dee Dee: Woah!
(They both run away and hide behind a wall; Rude Dee Dee reaches for the laser gun while Rude Dexter pushes her away)
Rude Dee Dee: Let me play with that!
Rude Dexter: You're too stupid to use it you moron!
(He whacks Rude Dee Dee with the gun)
Dexter: Gosh Dee Dee! I have an idea but, it's a little bit blue!
Dee Dee: Oh! Well, let's hear it anyway!
(Dexter whispers to her)
Dee Dee: Oh my Dexter! That is deceptive!
(They run to the Rude Removal System; Dee Dee gives Dexter the signal)
Dexter:Out loud Oh, I hope nobody goes into the Rude Remove System! Where they could duplicate themselves even more and then there could possibly be millions of rude fellows running around!
Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee: Yeah!
(They run to the Rude Removal System and jump inside; Dee Dee closes the B tube and Dexter starts the reversal procedure)
Computer: Rude Removal Reversal System activated.
(Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee disappear)
Computer: Sequence complete.
(Dexter and Dee Dee step out of the A tube)
Dexter: Phew! Glad that's over, no thanks to you!
Dee Dee: Me? I'm not the one who built that stupid thing!
Dexter: But I built it to remove your rudeness.
Dee Dee: I'm not rude, you are!
Dexter: No, you!
(Dexter and Dee Dee enter a bedroom)
Dexter: For the last time, it is you that is rude, you big-ga!-
(Mom stands in the doorway with a bar of soap in her hands)
