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- Dexter: Tell me.
- Dad: No.
- Dexter: Tell me.
- Dad: No.
- Dexter: Tell me.
- Dad: Dexter, for the last time-.
- Dexter: tell me! Tell me! Tell me!
- Dad: Absolutely not.
- Dexter: But I must know.
- Dad: And you shall... In exactly seven days.
- Dexter: But I can't wait that long.
- Dad: You've already waited almost a year. What's another seven days?
- Dexter: Well, technically, there are still seven days, fourteen hours, and thirty six-make that thirty-five minutes left.
- Dad: And the answer is still no that's final! Now, if you don't mind, I have a very important article on car waxes to read. Ha ha ha! Boys.
- Dee Dee: Hi, Dexter! Why the long face, Dexter?
- Dexter: [Sighs] Dad won't tell me what he's giving me for my birthday.
- Dee Dee: Ha ha, Dexter, silly! For someone who's so smart, you sure are dumb. Don't you know? Dad never tells a secret. You'd have to be a mind reader to figure this one out.
- Dexter: I am still alive. My cerebellic transfer wave inducer is a success. I can now read the minds of whomever I wish.
- Dexter: Dad, what did you get me for my birthday?
- Dad: Overslept again, Dex? I see you didn't even have time to comb your hair.
- Dexter: I said, "what did you get me for my birthday?" [Thinking] Heh heh heh! Now I shall read his mind.
- Dad: Ha ha! When pigs fly, Dexter. The answer is still no.
- Dexter: Huh?
- Mom: Come on, son. No time for chitchat. Now, Dexter. Sit down and eat your breakfast.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Yuck! Mom's oatmeal tastes like barf.
- Mom: Oh! Dexter, don't be rude!
- Dexter: Huh? [Thinking] That sister of mine: What a ferocious pig
- Dee Dee: Hey! I'm no pig!
- Mom: That is enough, Dexter. Time for school.
- Dexter: But wait. Dad, what--.
- Dad: The answer is no. Now git!
- Dexter: [Thinking] Dad with his stubborn poo-poo doody-head!
- Dad (Off camera) I heard that!
- Mom (Off camera): And we are gonna have a serious talk about your potty mouth when you get home from school today.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Wait. How come I could not read dad's mind? Why did mom say I was rude? How did Dee Dee know I called her a ferocious pig?Unless... [Speaking] Oh, no. My invention has backfired. must get back to the--
- Dee Dee: Come on, Dexter. We're gonna be late for the school bus.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Oh, no! What have I done? Everyone can read my thoughts. I must keep my mind blank.
- Dee Dee: Did you say something, Dex?
- Dexter: Not quite.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Heh heh. I must keep my mind blank, keep an empty head. Empty head. Empty head.
- Random Kid: Hey! Who are you calling an empty head? Get back here!
- Dexter: [Thinking] Don't think anything. Nothing-- nothing at all. Oh, but that kid is so ugly, and that one has crazy hair. Oh, and look at those braces. Chubby cheeks, pizza face, pencil nose, sasquatch. Oh, what am I thinking?
- Dexter: Heh heh heh. Just kidding.
- Kid one: Hey, what's up with that kid?
- Kid two: Dee Dee's little brother.
- Kid One: Ah.
- Dexter: [Thinking] I must get through school as safely and as swiftly as possible.
- Mr. Muzinsky: Good morning, class.
- Class: Good morning, Mr. Muzinsky.
- Mr. Muzinsky: Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Don't say anything. Don't think anything.
- Mr. Muzinsky: Now, today we are going to discuss one of my favorite historical figures: George Washington Carver.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Yes. All I have to do is take notes. No thinking.
- Mr. Muzinsky: George Washington carver, born in diamond grove, Missouri, around 1860 , developed over three hundred uses for peanuts.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Three hundred uses for peanuts.
- Mr. Muzinsky: One of carver's most infamous uses for peanuts...
- Dexter: [Thinking] Uses for peanuts...
- Mr. Muzinsky: Was his crop rotation method, which alternated nitrate-producing legumes...
- Dexter thinking: Legumes...
- Mr. Muzinsky: Such as peanuts--with cotton...
- Dexter: [Thinking]: With cotton.
- Mr. Muzinsky: …which depletes soil of its nutrients.
- Dexter: [Thinking] Which depletes soil of its nutrients. Southern farmers soon began planting peanuts one year and cotton the next.
- Mr. Muzinsky: And if Dexter doesn't stop mimicking me, he'll be going to the counselor's office after lunch.
- Dexter: [Thinking] He'll be going to the counselor's office after lunch.
- Dexter: [Thinking] The day is almost over. All I have to do is get through lunch and the counselor's office, and I'll be ok. In fact, all this excitement has made me quite famished.
- Lunch lady: Hey! Hey, kid!
- Dexter: Huh? Yes? Aah!
- Lunch lady: I said, "do you want gravy with your meatloaf surprise?
- Dexter: [Thinking] Holy moly!
- Lunch lady: Huh?
- Dexter: Oh, I'm sorry. I'll have-- [thinking] Mole! I was just trying to-- [thinking] Mole! I didn't mean-- [thinking] Hairy mole! I don't know what I'm saying.[Thinking] Mole!
- Lunch lady: Anything else?
- Dexter: No, mole-- I mean, ma'am.
- Dexter: [Thinking] How am I going to get through this? The counselor will hear my every thought. Not...unless she hears my every word. I do not call myself "boy genius" for nothing.
- Mrs. Morris: Dexter? I'm ready to see you now.
- Dexter: Mrs. Morris, so nice to see you. It's been a while, hasn't it? I am terribly sorry about what happened. I don't know what got into me today. I think I'm having quite a bit of stress, actually-- the harsh reality of life battling my inner ideal instincts, my need to succeed and excel at everything precious to me. I feel it slipping through my delicate little fingers. Maybe I'm lost in my search for my own identity. You can understand that, can't you, Mrs. Morris?
- Mrs. Morris: Well, of course I can, Dexter.
- Dexter: Good. Well, I must be going, and thank you so very much for this insightful discussion. You have given me quite a lot to think about.
- Mrs. Morris: Oh, Dexter?
- Dexter: Yes?
- Mrs. Morris: Keep in touch, won't you?
- Dexter: Well, of course, I will...[Thinking] Sucker.
- Dexter: [Thinking] It is not fair. Nothing is coming out right. Why does everything have to be so hard? This whole thing stinks. I have had enough! I must reverse this at once.
- Dexter: I think my cerebellic transverse wave inducer is a success... At last. Dad?
- Dad: Yes, Dexter?
- Dexter: What did you get me for my birthday?
- Dad: Dexter, how many times are you going to ask? I'm not telling you... [Thinking] That I got you some amazing, one-of-a-kind multi-functional socks--all wool, soft to the touch, yet breathable and supple. Fully lined...
- Dexter: Man, I went through all of that just for a pair of stupid socks? I know, I know. You don't have to tell me.
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